the shooting stareverything is building up. it's getting harder to think. i can feel the stress- the feeling that they will be gone soon. i'm scared. no. i can't be.tim sits by my limp body on the checkered couch. he was leaving for the war in iraq tomarrow."he doesn't care about you." i cringe at the words. they cut like the glass on my flesh. they make my heart hurt."no." i whisper. "things will change. i know it. i can feel it." do i? i ask myself. do i really love this guy? or am i really overreacting?. but the dreams. the feeling- it's like nothing with anyone else. time will tell."no, nicole, they won't. im sorry." he says. the air gets heavy on my chest. the tears are spilling over. i get up after a moment. i look at tim. he isn't lying. or is he? is he that desperate for me? that he would do this? it's happened with another- it's possible. i turn and walk to my room. im embarrassed . why am i loyal to someone w
MondayMonday 8:54 amI am sad. I have been like this for a whilenow. There are a lot of things that make me sad, but I won’t show it. I can’t.nobody can know just how weak I really am. I want to curl up in a ball andhide, but I don’t. I can’t. I straighten my back and force a smile on my faceas I walk along the gum stained walkways that lead to class. The air is brisk.I inhale it slowly, trying to keep the tears at bay for just a little whilelonger.Monday 11:54Now it’s lunch. I sit at a table alone. That’s fine. I getit. Nobody wants to sit next to the annoying freak. I get up. Taking the usualsub dubbed in jalapenos, and a poster board with a drawing of one of theteachers, I walk out the door. Its super windy and I barely keep my tray andart board from ripping out of my hands. I walk to science. I love science. Butthe smell makes me nauseous. 15 mins left as I enter the hall. People are linedup all against the wall. Enemies. All of them.